Grieving the Loss of Nursing and What It Was

With fall comes the changing of the seasons.

Nature is constantly showing us how to live our lives through the ever-changing seasons. We must recognize there is a time for rest and a time to grow. In fall, we see the trees lose their weight by releasing the dead leaves. Seasons not only occur with our world, but they also occur within us.

How do we navigate the ever-changing darkness or winter weather that is necessary to create growth and abundance that awaits us in the spring?

I often talk about being reflective on the past to make the changes necessary to grow into the future. This is just as important as being aware of your environment. We have to honor the truth for what it is, both good and bad. This can be where people get stuck.

The truth can be uncomfortable. Especially when you realize that what you have believed for so long is no longer – or was never – the truth.

I remember when the EMR emerged. There was a mixed reaction to it. My reaction was, they are building a wall between us and the patients. I remember voicing this. Many did not see it that way. Fast forward and now we all see it. We have to be cognizant of what is happening. We have to face reality for what it is. It’s the only way for us to make changes for ourselves.

When I began recognizing and questioning the changes I saw coming in healthcare, I essentially went through the grieving stages. Sounds dramatic, I know. However, if we revisit the 5 stages of grief as studied by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, we can see how these apply to life, not just our ill patients.

Some of us have not thought about these stages since nursing school, but think about how these can be applied to our professional life.

First, there was denial when I began to realize the changes in the healthcare system were as bad as I thought. Surely what they are doing at that hospital system won’t be coming to my place of employment. They would never allow that here!

They allowed it, which brought on the anger. To get through this angry phase, we begin to create justifications. Essentially bargaining. Maybe if I do as they suggest and get that next degree, things will be better. I will have more opportunities.

Then, depression. I have acquired more student loan debt and I make a quarter more an hour because of that degree.

Acceptance and working through. This is what I feel is the most important stage. You can accept it for what it is and work through the grief and begin to make plans – plans for your future.

Not your employers, not your boss, or your coworkers, but YOUR future!

Once I recognized how our healthcare system was changing rapidly, I knew it was time. I felt it in my soul. I would go into work so hopeful and eager to give, only to leave drained. Drained emotionally, physically, spiritually and intellectually. I was leaving the best of who I was at a system that did not care about me or my colleagues.

I could not continue to work in a place that compromised my core values. I knew if I did, I wouldn’t be able to continue to give the best of my nursing capabilities to the patients.

It was time to make changes for myself. Time to drop those dead leaves that were weighing me down. I needed to sit in the dark winter. Sit, reflect, and find my purpose as a nurse within a profession that was burning.

The darkness can be scary, but it can also be where the rest occurs.

This is necessary for change and growth. The only way to move through this was to find a different path for myself. Everyone’s path will be different. It may include going back to school, starting that business, or planning your exit strategy to retire.

As we enter into this year’s fall and witness the seasonal changes, be aware of the changes within you as well.

To learn more about my journey from bedside to business owner, visit the About Heather page.